Life outside Ambridge

 

              

                                                  Drooping in the heat, bit like me 😏

Comments

  1. mbridgesMrsPJuly 20, 2022 at 11:01 AM
    If I may I would like to continue the theme of staying alive, and add to Lady Rs comment re ageing today.
    For most of my adult life I’ve carried the thought that I would live to be about 86.
    Then sometime in my fifties I think, I moved that date to 94.
    And crucially I don’t know why.
    A few years ago on ‘ All in the Mind ‘ a favourite programme, did a feature on this subject of knowing how long you will live, and found that many people who did carry this notion did in fact live to the age that they had imagined they would.
    Along with this find, it was discovered that an individual’s attitude towards ageing did have an effect on how long they would go on.
    So yes Lady R, I think you are correct, those like Lan Jan and myself, ( despite my depressive cycles) do have a younger mindset than we might have done if borne in an earlier age.
    And to add, I’m not at all sure that it is about having an upbeat attitude about life altogether. It is, I think, something else about personality, but haven't been able to
    work out what.
    And I shall be very interested to read LJs further thoughts on this subject.

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    EvJuly 20, 2022 at 11:34 AM
    I think I’ll move my end date on too, Mrs P! I’ve had the year 2032 in my mind whenI will be 84 but another 10 years would be very handy! There’s so much more I want to do! It is a state of mind and I don’t feel old except when I have to have a rest after tackling a bit of housework!!

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  2. Lanjan.July 20, 2022 at 12:13 PM
    I don't really think about my end date but would like to outlive the cats because they wouldn't want to have to move (Cats Protection will look after them though) I have to say that most of the time I don't feel my age-whatever one should feel like at 80+..
    One reason I think is that my closest friends are all younger than I am .
    My mother was the same
    However I am adept now in using my age when I need something.....
    I am sorry but at my age .....
    I am not very computer literate now at my age so please allow me a little time...
    I have fun in trying out dementia tests !
    1 ) Count back in 7s from 100 (my favourite)
    2) Say the months of the year in reverse order
    3) How many animals can you list in 30secs
    Be warned
    One. Of the questions is "What is the date?"
    I rarely know unless I look at the blog.






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    Lady RJuly 20, 2022 at 12:43 PM
    “At my age” oh how I recognise that one certainly for Mr R although mentally in his 60’s for sure. Bodily as you know not the case but along with his super Dr’s Practice and his Orthopaedic surgeon well supported. Needed (on the Pharmacist advice) to call 111 at the weekend the call was answered fairly quickly Saturday early evening and was decided a Dr call needed and booked but within 24hrs would be ok. A lady Dr rang the next morning and was just superb both her demeanour and advice and listening skills superb. Situation sorted with advice for future if needed. So very grateful and told her so, her reply “our main concern at the moment is that due to media output many people may be put off ringing and that is not what we want”

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    AmbridgesMrsPJuly 20, 2022 at 12:44 PM
    The home I have moved to now, was what I wanted when I left London in 2014.
    Having spent the last six years not having that home, I suppose I will now have to add an extra six years to be able to enjoy what I now have.
    So I suppose that will take me into the realms of expecting a telegram from King Charles.
    That is of course if he outlasts me !
    Although there are so many reaching their 100 th birthday, I suspect this tradition might well be dropped on Her Majesties demise.

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  3. AmbridgesMrsPJuly 20, 2022 at 2:55 PM
    I have not been listening to the 28 days programme, because I intend to listen to the complete series in one sitting when it is all over.
    It is indeed a fascinating subject, and I for one certainly know about pre menstrual cycle, and was made aware of it by my husband to be within days of our meeting. He knew all about it because of his sister and her problems.
    His mother, my mother in law, claimed not to have suffered any problems during ‘the change’ as it used to be known.
    Lucky her !
    My mother had terrible migraines and retrospectively I have realised that they were probably PMS, and then she did not cease a cycle until well into her sixties.
    I fortunately had few problems during the cessation of menstruating as I was on HRT for a number of years, initially in patches then later in inserts under the skin.
    I was fortunate in always having a strict 28 day cycle and was rarely bothered by cramps or heavy loss, but many woman suffer very badly, and I applaud the efforts by todays women MPs who are attempting to remedy the work place for woman going through the changes in their menstrual cycle and gaining ground in public understanding of these problems.
    It is indeed a fascinating scientific subject and I look forward to listening.

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    MiriamJuly 20, 2022 at 3:21 PM
    I had bad PMT, so that for 5 days every month, I was a "different" person. I was naggy, short tempered, irritable and didn't sleep well. If something happened at work I was normally calmly sorted the problem out. However if it was one of "those days", the sharp side of my tongue came out. I always apologised though....The menopause was completely the opposite, apart from the flushes.
    I admire Morrisons with their innovative scheme for girls, who can't always afford sanitary protection. All they need to do is to ask for a package for Sandy at customer services and they are given a brown package containing ST's.

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    MiriamJuly 20, 2022 at 3:28 PM
    I was so pleased when the long campaign to abolish VAT on these products, was finally successful. This only came into force on Jan 1st 2021.

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    MiriamJuly 20, 2022 at 3:32 PM
    .....and took 20years!

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    1. carolynJuly 20, 2022 at 3:37 PM
      It is good that pre menstrual problems are being highlighted, because, as shown here, some women have a very hard time indeed. Lanjan, I challenge you ! We were both in teaching, & I bet you found some weeks were harder than others ? I expect you put that down to pressures at work, exam marking, reports to finish, yet another parents'evening & so on. That's how it went with me, nothing as dramatic as some describe here but certainly more tired than usual, irritable touchy & anxious. It took me years to join the dots & see the cyclical connection.

      I didn't like that whiney woman in the programme; don't question that she had a bad time, but she sounded like a self absorbed adolescent - turned out she was34yrs old.

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    2. I’ve listened to quite a lot of this series, mostly interesting. I remember realising that my moods definitely followed a cycle when i was about 18. I also noticed that i became more inclined to drop things 2-3 days before my period, I was fine as long as I was focussing but I dropped a lot of mirrors & probes when I was putting them down. When I hit menopause it felt like continual PMS, not fun, thankfully now behind me. Although I seem stuck with the hot flushes & night sweats

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    3. Oh yes Carolyn, I agree that woman today sounded about13 years old

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  4. EvJuly 20, 2022 at 1:03 PM
    I don’t know about cats but our dogs do like to be near us at night. When we first had Gypsy she slept by my bed on a dog bed as she had been used to that with previous owner. In time when she had settled down I tried to put her in the sun room as our previous dog years ago, a border collie, had been very happy in his bed downstairs. Well, she got into such a state that I had to move her back to my room! When the boys came along, they just leapt on the bed so they are allowed but I never thought I would do so!

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    MiriamJuly 20, 2022 at 1:12 PM
    This was the recommendation from Cats Protection, so that a new cat has its own secluded space avoiding too much "stress".
    Also my home is totally open plan, the only doors being on the bedrooms and bathroom. She will be roaming througout the house from now on. It will be interesting to seewhere she decides to sleep tonight.

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  5. Have just heard that my sister in law woke up this afternoon a bit confused but a relief that she has come out of it! I asked my nephew whether Leighton hospital had nice grounds so that he could take her out in a wheelchair at some point. He said the hospital grounds are all car park! That is so sad as it is therapeutic to see trees, plants etc. Here on the island our hospital has a very large pond full of carp surrounded by greenery and when visiting Mike we found a lot of solace there. Sadly we were never able to take him to see it but it helped us tremendously at a time of great stress. Why do planners not factor these things in?

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    1. So glad to read your update on SIL Ev. I fear many hospital grounds are car parking these days but totally agree that is a shame for the reason you stated.

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  6. Firstly let me say that I am pleased that your sister in law seems to have improved ,Ev and hope she continues to do so.

    I honestly cannot remember having any sort of PMT -of course I never knew about it nor did I know much about"the change" although I once remember my father saying that my mum kept throwing the bedclothes off at night and my mother saying when it was the Queen's silver Jubilee "That poor woman doing all those visits when she is going through "the Change"
    I wasn't interested enough to ask what she meant.
    I must have been particularly fortunate because the only time I had off when I was teaching ,Carolyn was when I got bad migraine attacks and when I fell in school and damaged my back and had to wear a boned corset in the hot summer of 1983.
    I had no time off at all in the first two teaching posts I held.

    I definitely will not listen to, the programme and still cannot understand why anyone -there are men who listen to radio4 too -would be interested .
    I think there is too much talk about the "poor" women .
    Can't abide feminism.
    Think all women shortlists are wrong and as for women commentators for men's cricket ..........
    Words fail me!
    I refuse to listen to Woman's Hour because it consists of whinging women.
    They should just get on with life ,thank their lucky stars they were not born a Century and a half ago and stop moaning about how tough things are
    When I was growing up nobody mentioned"the curse"or had time off school or missed PE.
    I have to say I am very pleased that was the case and anyway I wouldn't have got any sympathy if I had complained of that I am sure.
    (I was not married to Mr LJ at the time)

    Rant over.

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  7. I had migraines which the doctor put down to PMT and offered me Valium which I refused! Reading up about it the hormones around that time can cause migraines. I found that a painkiller called Migraleve which you took at the first signs of a headache was very effective. Valium was given out freely at the time by doctors but is potentially addictive and I wouldn’t have wanted to go down that road!

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  8. My mother had horrendous mood changes when she was menopausal. At this time I was living at home, whilst I was doing my years post-grad training. One Saturday night, I got home from work and cooked myself fish + chips, Mum + Dad were going out for a meal so weren't eating. I am not sure what was being said but as I was holding my plate in my hands to sit down and eat, Mum grabbed this plate and threw it against the wall. To this day I can still see the fish, chips, tomato sauce and baked beans, running down the wall.
    I was astounded as to this behaviour from Mum. It is hard to understand why some women suffer so badly, yet others have no problems at all.
    I read today that as from 2023, studying Womens Health and its associated problems in a much more comprehensive way, will be compulsory in the medical degree.

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    1. I am very pleased to hear that piece of news in your last para Miriam.
      Thank goodness.
      At last !

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  9. Ev. Good news re sister-in-law. May it continue.

    I had hormonal migraines. Hereditary I think. So that is the one good thing about menopause….. no more migraines. I tried hrt but that brought them back with a vengeance. So I just suffer with the sweats etc and I’m thankful not to be incapacitated for 3 days in the trot like before.

    Looks like weather will be back to normal tomoz. Back to housework and gardening.

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    1. Only 3 days lucky you ptby 7 and heavy for me and sometimes extremely cramping but regular from 12yrs to 62yrs. Not a miss I have to say (plus expensive unlike smoking or drinking no choice in the matter!)

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    2. Lady R ….migraines lasted 3 days. Periods were always irregular and lasted at least a week. Pleased to have finished with them by the time I hit 50.

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    3. Lady R- 12 - 62, that's 50 years rather than the usual 40! You poor thing!

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    4. Ooh dear you have me questioning myself now Sarnia did I mean 53yrs seems more likely 🤣 senior moment?

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  10. Re migraines.
    I still suffer them but -touch wood -they are not as bad as they were when I was younger .
    Incapacitated for days.
    I take paracetamol when I get them now.
    From what you say P tb Y about sweats I have gone off lightly.

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  11. LanJan

    Perhaps those migraines which incapacitated you for days were your bodies response to PMS, but since you didn’t know about or didn’t recognise PMS, you never made the connection.

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  12. There are almost as many reasons for migraines as there are people ! And the affliction is certainly not restricted to women.
    It's a complex picture : I also had migraines ( luckily kept at bay with preventative medication eventually, taken at the first symptom). They didn't start till I was 30, predictably nasty, but not lasting 3 days or more, & not obviously connected to menstruation, but, that said, they lessened gradually post menopause, & stopped about 10 years ago. Like Lanjan, a rare headache nowadays of the ordinary kind which will respond to paracetamol, or just fade on its own.
    Started listening to that programme again today, about the menopause this time, but switched off - nothing new being said !
    To be honest it wasn't different yesterday. We've all known about female conditions for ages, why the fuss now ? What agenda are they pushing ? Treatments weren't perfect, still aren't but we get what attention is available, as we do with the female cancers, regular scans & screenings. Not the case with men until pretty recently, btw, in relation to prostate cancer. Add to that the fact that men are usually far more unlikely to go for check ups & needed reminders & encouragement more than women

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  13. Interesting discussion.
    Women’s bodies have been historically appropriated and redefined by medicine .
    The normal processes of pregnancy,childbirth,menstruation, menopause and sexuality have been medicalised and controlled by medicine and the pharmaceutical business.
    The female body and it’s life processes have been seen socially as different from man and in the 19th century as weak. This was of course class based as working class women had to work. A woman's reproductive system was gradually determined as different and deviant. The body therefore had to be treated. Medicine began to transform the role of the Dr as it evolved professionally and this is when their social role expanded as the guardians of morality and the object of this progress was targeted at women. Easy enough as a womens body is more complex.
    Hence those normal bodily functions become disease deviant requiring medical intervention.
    Women were seen as irrational ( hysteria) and men as rational this resulting in a new medical speciality which defined the health of women as a medical problem.

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  14. KP, would it be possible to close a blog when you open a new one. I have noticed that people sometimes post on the old one after a new one has been opened. It was reading Archerfile's post on the last "Life outside Ambridge" that has prompted this request.

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  15. I have to confess that I haven’t worked out how to do that. I did post a comment saying I was opening a new blog but I may have forgotten to refresh the page before posting. I will see if I can work out how to close .

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  16. Archerphile
    I refer to your comment on the previous blog. I think you must have missed my comments as my thoughts are not too different from you. At the moment I am enjoying my life, whilst my body is wearing out, I can currently do what I want. When I reach the point that I am unable to maintain my lifestyle, then I shall have no hesitation in taking my life. This is no secret my family and friends are aware of my views.

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  17. AP, you are but a month older than me so I am most concerned that you should feel this way.
    I understand that energy is at a premium: no matter how much other people think I've achieved since my husband's passing, I am constantly hiding from a dreadfully untidy house, piles of unatteunatten

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  18. Oops - a slip of the finger! ........unattended paperwork and a garden that rewards every tiny effort to reinvent it by creating another mess elsewhere .
    There has to be something new for you to focus on, some quietly rewarding activity that is economical with that precious energy.
    What does M r A do with his time? Is there anything you could do together, or perhaps you could find something beautiful to create in quiet moments to try and be at peace with yourself.
    Please don't give up at this stage as you are far too young; it sounds as if you need to re-charge your batteries.

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  19. Thank you Sarnia, CowGirl and Janice for highlighting ARCHERPHILE s post.
    I had not seen it.

    ARCHERPHILE -
    I want you to know that you are not alone.
    I have lived my life through ‘ projects’ - being a nurse - creating a family - getting through being a single parent - being a politically active lesbian - and alongside and in between all those ‘me’ navigating relationships.
    But !
    When I was not actively involved in something worthwhile and achieving some goal I felt that I had no reason to live. And I wasn’t that good at finding a new project, so would often wallow in the doldrums for a long time.
    Three different members on this blog became aware of my being in the doldrums towards the end of last year into the beginning of this year. I was trying to move, knowing this was a really big ‘project’ as I approached 80, but nothing was progressing, including me and my mood. I had reached out to two of those members and a third was given the information and between them they did help to keep me going until a change took place.
    And I made it. I am here in my new home surrounded by boxes and it will take months to get straight ( and maybe I never will ) but my mood is now uphill instead of down !
    My message to you is this……
    A change does always come !
    And you have reached out !
    You may feel that life has nothing left for you to achieve….. at the moment…. So hunker down, something will happen.
    I don’t want to be unkind, but think of your husbands friend who suddenly died last year, and how you wrote about his wife. I apologise for not being able to remember what happened to her, but my point is, her life suddenly changed dramatically and she had to deal with it. I hope the same does not happen to Mr A, but if it did life would change, and dramatically for you.
    You don’t know it, and neither do I, but you might, like Sarnia, find a new lease of life,
    because you needed to start afresh on your own.
    You have told us how you know that you and MrA need to move, and you have been encouraged to get on with it by several on here.
    If you were to take the reigns into your own hands ( ignore Mr A for the time being ) and make that move happen, you would be creating a new project for yourself and for him and the result would be a new lease of life.

    Please think about it.

    And apologies to all other posters for such a long post.

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  20. I have just been watching The Supervet and I knew I knew the person doing the narration. I suddenly realised who it was - Debbie, in other words the lovely Tamsin Greig. What a lovely voice she has.

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  21. Make sure those doors are kept open tonight ,Miriam!

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  22. I do sympathise and identify with your feelings, Archerfile. Sometimes the repetitive chores don’t exactly make you bright eyed and bushy tailed. I think the pandemic, lockdowns etc made us all retreat into ourselves and getting the energy to do something different outside our immediate environment can be very hard. We have started in a small way going out for meals, tonight to a local Italian restaurant. Also there has been a movement to restart a TG in the village and I need to muster the energy to join in! The dogs have helped me a lot and getting out on walks. Yesterday, I had to catch the Post Office which only opens as a branch of another PO on Wednesday mornings. I met no fewer than 4 people and had to rush to fit it in! Some days I don’t meet anybody but I do get out and sit by the creek watching the world go by! The other day there was a mini hovercraft down there making a tremendous noise and skimming the water and the mudflats. My life isn’t exciting but I do enjoy little things. Archerfile, I wish you well and fear you have become depressed but even though your years looking after children are gone, you still have a purpose and would leave a huge hole if you were not there. We are not just nurturing machines and at this end of our life we can love and nurture ourself.

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    1. I couldn't agree more about getting out of the "Covid bubble" Ev, it took us a long time. It was wanting to see family and close friends that made us make the effort.

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  23. Stasia 4: 20 pm I am sorry to say that I haven't got the faintest idea what you are on about.
    I wish I hadn't brought up the wretched programme .
    I apologise.

    For goodness sake let us lighten up a bit.
    Did you see that lovely programme Andrew"FreddieFlintoff "did?
    It was in three parts
    Started 3Tuesdays ago .
    Something like Freddie's field of Dreams.
    BBC1
    Delightful
    Heartwarming.
    Archerphile you would love it but you probably watched it anyway.
    Spicycushion would too.
    I bet P tbY didn't but Mr P tbY might have.
    Over to you P tbY!




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    1. Hahaha. Too right I didn’t watch it. Mr PtbY has recorded all 3 to binge watch.
      Got to admit I do like Freddie flintoft on Top Gear.

      Stasia….I thought I must be thick as I didn’t follow your comment at all. But seems I wasn’t alone.

      How about a change of subject onto something nice and relaxing…..gardening perhaps.
      What is everyone’s favourite plant?
      I love a hosta. Just getting into roses now too but only the old fashioned scented ones. Can’t really understand why you’d want a non smelly one! 🤭

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    2. I love pinks .
      The scent is fantastic.
      Cut flowers last for ages.
      Mr LJ loved fuchsias so I have a fuchsia bed which looks great.
      Then last week as I can't resist a bargain there was an offer for a hanging basket full of trailing fuchsias .
      It arrived.
      Is great but too good to hang up so I have incorporated it in the fuchsia bed.
      P tb Y I really think you would enjoy that programme.
      Give it a go.




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    3. Mine is Astrantia , I didnt know about them until I sowed a packet of mixed seeds and 1 grew. I now have many all over my garden. they were old fashioned but came back a few years ago and now there are new ones coming up all the time with very suttle dfferences.

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    4. I really like astrantias too. I have a white and a deep burgundy that I brought from our old house. The burgundy hasn’t taken as well as I hoped but fingers crossed for next year.

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  24. Thank you to everyone for your concern and kind and uplifting comments.
    When I wrote that post I didn’t realise there was a new blog open and was rather relieved to think that that no one would see it, because I instantly regretted writing it.
    I have now deleted the post and I would prefer it not to be referred to again It was self-indulgent and selfish to burden others with my feelings, but I suppose it is only here that I felt able to speak

    I have had periods of depression and anxiety in the past and permanently take a very low maintenance dose of an anti-depressant; it is possible that I might need a slightly higher dose for a while.
    I just feel so tired, movement is painful due to the arthritis in my hips, knees, shoulder and hands which also prevents me doing many of the things I previous enjoyed. Even knitting is too painful now, something I greatly regret. But I know others are much worse off than me. So I must try to pull myself out of this Slough of Despond and find something to look forward to

    Please dont worry about me and just know that I really appreciate all your kind words.

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  25. And my favourite flowers are also fuchsia, a love I inherited from my Mum.
    I currently have a tub planted with her favourite ‘Swingtime’ and a new variety called ‘Blackie’ which has bright pink sepals and an almost black Corolla - amazing.
    For scent, Lily of the Valley and LJ’s pinks of course.

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  26. Back before lockdown there were muttering of a meet-up, possibly just a small one of the Hampshire branch? Would anyone be up for that? Meanwhile Archerphile if you fancied a day out but didn’t want to drive I believe we live quite close…

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    1. Thats extraordinarily kind of you KP. I can drive if I need to (once a week to Sainsburys!).
      So at the moment I am OK but will remember your kind offer if things deteriorate.
      As for a localised Archerfan get-together, perhaps we can think about arranging something in the Autumn? I dont think I have been to Winchester since lockdown so a visit would be a nice change of scene.

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  27. My favourite flowers, hmmm. I like anything that manages to grow in our garden. Snowdrops always lift my spirit & I love the brightness of the daffodils that follow, I’m not such a fan of the tulips but I love the blue haze of the bluebells. Into the Summer we have roses, lovely but often disappointingly un-scented, and always prickly, at the moment it’s lot of rather parched looking green & some pretty weeds.
    Today I attended a funeral of a former colleague, taken suddenly aged only 58. It has made me think I should make more of an effort to keep in touch with friends & not just fritter my time as I have been doing of late.

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  28. There was talk of a meet-up in Winchester. However, as current medical advice is for me not to use public transport due to the high Covid transmission rate I am unable to travel. I am collected and taken to work on Sundays, otherwise a taxi to Sainsbury's or the chiropractor has been the highlight of my life for the last 2 1/2 years.

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  29. nastursiums - bold, bright, cheerful and cover up messy areas.

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  30. Not sure I have a favourite flower, but at the moment the star of the show in the courtyard is the dark red canna lily, £9 from Sainsbury's last year - nine blooms and counting.

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  31. Lanjan.
    Re my attempt to add clarity to the discussion on a women’s bodily functions. Menstruation is normal, pregnancy is normal, hormonal fluctuations are normal, the menopause is normal. Any individual woman's response will be different and these differences should be perceived to be normal for the individual woman. Medicine has created a pattern or paradigm into which woman must must fit and any difference is deemed to be abnormal.

    To some extent this supports your comment but we must also accept that for some things can be difficult .
    End of subject.
    My favourite flower is the sweet pea.

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    1. Yes that explains it in a more easily understandable way. We need medical science but I feel it could learn a bit from herbalism about treating the person as a whole and as an individual.

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  32. I am a lover of lilies and have both canna and calla one's in flower beds. My favourite is a calla, which has green leaves with large white speckles and bright yellow trumpet flowers. I also have ornamental ones in pots.
    Bonnie is not allowed out yet, but I will need to watch her carefully ad lilies are toxic to cats if eaten.
    I have had to resite my anthrum in the lounge, which on the marble hearth, as she kept rubbing her head against the leaves. They are only toxic if ingested, but it is a killer.

    I woke up to rain this morning which is forecast all day. It is that lovely fine rain which soaks in better than heavy rain. The garden is looking better already. It won't be long before the yellow laebs are green again.

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  33. I hope Cheshire Cheese pops in, to tell about her visit to RHS Tatton Flower Show. I would be interested.

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  34. Did you see it on GW yesterday Miriam? There were some ingenious front gardens.
    I've always been puzzled by the ancient practice of 'disposing' of girl babies in the belief that they were boys which had 'gone wrong in the womb'. I should have thought that the flaw in that argument would be obvious.

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  35. Favourite flower probably Camellias despite the fact only a very few of them are fragrant. Also like violets in Spring, and the smell of honeysuckle which grows down the lane. I was recently given a lovely double red hollyhock, never grown them, which is beginning to open so I had better find a place for it.
    For the first time since the pandemic myself and a friend ventured out to the gardening club last week to a talk by a herbalist, so I will add that as well as flowers I really appreciate herbs and their properties. I already grow quite a number and add them to smoothies and salads and drink as teas.Things like rosemary, for memory!!, lemon balm for calmness, serenity and longevity, mint for digestion , parsley for iron, and sage as a general tonic. I still learnt a lot from the talk though, it was fascinating. My opinion of Henry the 8th has gone up a little bit after learning about his charter for herbalists, as a way of helping poor people. Physicians of the time were trying to outlaw people who provided herbal treatments, because they wanted a monopoly on medicine and they charged the kind of amounts that poor people could not afford. The friend I mentioned earlier is the extremely fit 80 year old, could pass for 60, who caught covid, unvaccinated (doesn't mind going to a doctor for advice but won't have any chemicals put into her) and got better within a week whereas our neighbour with the chickens, 30 years younger and vaccinated was really rough for over 3 weeks. I do wonder if my friend got over it so well because of her extremely healthy lifestyle. She eats no processed food at all, grows most of her own fruit and veg, and what she can't (e.g. avocados that she uses as a spread on rye bread, avoids wheat bread) she buys organic, doesn't drink or smoke and does grow and treat herself with herbs. If by any chance she feels a bit low in energy she takes Floradix liquid, but apparently that does contain herbs.

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  36. Archerphile I did not see the post that you deleted but from answers posted got the gist of it, and so glad that I did as similar is happening in our household especially with Mr R. Not at all like him but he is so unsettled right now and even “down” at times and on edge. Last evening he suddenly said let’s go out for a ride in the car so with air con off and windows open off we went around the local countryside and he did feel somewhat better on return. When down we are told to walk - which of course he can’t and see friends but the meals we used to go out for curbed by closest friends still not comfortable doing so. We have good neighbours fortunately and hope all this will pass, medication is being adjusted too which is causing some disruption to mood.
    Like you AP I am on a low does tablet and thankfully reasonably ok, apart from a slip in the shower (over bath) just under 2 weeks ago, I was crouching with my back to the heavy mixer tap fell sharply backwards and slammed into the tap boy did that hurt and still recovering!
    Yikes Pandemic was enough really but it seems the effects of it on the mind are still affecting some of us. So hang on in there and don’t be ashamed of writing of your current feelings here it hopefully helps you to have an outlet of friends to be able to do this with and helps others who are suffering similarly to not feel so alone.
    Sending ❤️

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    Replies
    1. Thank you very kindly Lady R. Goodness, that slip in the bath sounds dreadfully painful, so fortunate you didn’t break anything. And it is comforting to know that others are still suffering ‘after effects’ of the Covid lockdown. I think it has had a far greater effect on some peoples’ mentalhealth than many realise or can understand.

      Delete
    2. I was fine in 2020, but it was the Lockdown in Jan. last year that really affected me. This was the long dark days, too cold to venture very far, whilst waiting anxiously for my 1st vaccination (done end of February). I had anxiety every time I went out, for very many months after. I still had some recurrances in a mild way, until quite recently, preferring to drive on quiet roads rather than fast and busy dual carriageways.This only stopped about 3 months ago and now whizz around everywhere again.
      I think all must have had some sort of reaction, in some way.

      Delete
    3. ✔️ ✔️ to both of your comments

      Delete
  37. There's a magnificent display of hollyhocks in a front garden down the the road, and I must say I'm tempted, Janice.

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  38. I do like hollyhocks but have been put off as they have a tendency to having rust which is a very disfiguring fungal disease.

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    Replies
    1. Yes, I saw that - can also spread to mallow and foxgloves, apparently.

      Delete
  39. Stasia 8:19am and Janice 9:55am. When I was working as a doctor, whilst practising evidence based medicine, I always strived to treat my patients as a whole and as individuals. I took into account the physical, mental and psychological approach to treating whatever problem was presented to me. Different things work for different people and I think it's vital to have an open mind in the approach to to patients. I was very fortunate to work with a team of colleagues who felt the same.

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  40. Miriam, we had a lovely day at Tatton. Pre pandemic Tatton was already having trouble getting sponsors and I think that has been exacerbated by the pandemic and the rising cost of things. It was a pared down show compared to previous ones but we really enjoyed it. The school gardens were as good as ever and I love chatting to the children about their gardens, such enthusiasm is lovely.
    The weather was perfect on Wednesday and, while some plants looked stressed, I think the exhibitors had done a magnificent job of getting the gardens show ready considering the heat of the previous days.

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    Replies
    1. PS had a chat with Joe Swift about his garden, I didn't mention that I wasn't very impressed with it though!

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    2. It sounds like a lovely day and I must start going again.

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    3. Yes, there was an interview with Joe Swift. His garden was a bit underwhelming, wasn't it.

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  41. Re flowers: most of my plants come mail-order, and as planting seasons come an end, free gifts abound. One nursery sent me Marvel of Peru, Mirabilis Jalapa, which produces a number of different coloured petunia-like flowers all on the same plant. They came as a bag of 10 bare roots the size of horse-carrots, so it was difficult to find pots deep enough to plant them in.
    Mercifully, only half have come up, because the plants look like broad beans on steroids and more or less grow while you watch them. They're beginning to make me nervous.

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  42. My favourite flower is Rose Bay Willow Herb.
    Astrantia major and minor I’ve always grown. As for favourites in the garden too many loved to be listed.
    I adore Mimosa and have had a number of trees. Some years ago a Mimosa seeded in a dead tropical fern log and I managed to gently extract it and pot it on, but eventually it faded.
    I never quite understood where my appreciation of Mimosa came from, then a few years ago my cousin, twenty years older than me told me that our grandmother had always loved Mimosa.
    She then gave me a framed picture of a spray of Mimosa and Carnations that grandfather had brought back from France for Grandma during or at the end of WW1, and told me that grandma had always had Mimosa when it was available.
    So now I know !
    My daughters have told me that they will be getting me a Mimosa for my new garden, which pleases me greatly.

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  43. My eldest grand niece finished primary school today. Where has the time gone! She is a very mature young lady, both mentally and physically and is well ready for High School. It will do her good to be a little fish in a big pond for a change, she was one of the top pupils in her primary school.
    Her SATS scores were amazing - 110, 110 and 120 in her 3 tests (all out of 120).
    To think at that age I was still wearing short white socks and black lace up shoes, not fancy heeled sandals and make-up etc. as she does!

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    Replies
    1. Apologies. I have just realised that I am off topic, as to the current chat. I didn't think before posting.

      Delete
  44. Still on the flower theme I reckon the best value are orchids .
    At our local Garden Centre two stemmed orchids were only £8 each ,
    I bought 3 and they are still in flower months later.
    However I treated myself last week and sent off for some pinks which I reckon will last at least 10 days and the scent is superb.
    I think a lot is nostalgia with pinks for me.
    When I was 9 years old I was a bridesmaid for my older cousin.
    Her sisters in law went to Covent Garden market in the early morning to buy lots of carnations -or were they pinks?
    The bride and four bridesmaids had massive bunches.
    I have a photograph of me with my nose buried in my bouquet .

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  45. Favourite flower red pelargonium, this stems from childhood summers spent in France. The relatives that we stayed with always had pots of them in the garden and I associate them with very happy times.
    When we got our first house I grew them in my garden and took cuttings at this time of year to overwinter for the next season. I'm still doing that nearly 50 years later, have got two dozen in pots outside this year.

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  46. Good for you ,Cheshire Cheese.
    I have wallflowers every year grown from the seeds from the previous year.
    Again the scent is lovely.
    Penstamen are great for taking cuttings .
    May I recommend a boo that I bought many years ago?
    It is called "Grandmother's Secrets"by Jean Palaiseul
    Her Green Guide to Plants.
    Well done P tb Y for suggesting flowers as a topic.

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    Replies
    1. I was having a lazy lie in but shot out of bed when I read your comment to go and hunt through the bookshelves to find " Grandmother's Secrets" which I bought in about 1980. It is rather tatty and dog eared now but it was that book more than any other that made me realise the usefulness of plants and their health giving properties. I agree, a book well worth recommending.

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  47. My neighbours peacock spends much of his time in my garden, at the moment he is moulting and leaving his beautiful tail feathers for me, I am busy thinking of a way to display them in the house.
    Interestingly the peahens eggs this year were all voids like my gooses, I am wondering if it is the weather being so dry, perhaps next year I might have better luck, the peacock is fertile as he has sired offspring before.

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  48. For the first time ever I have just cracked a Sainsbury’s egg that was bad!
    I cracked it over the frying pan and lots of water sprang out and sizzled in the pan, then I saw the ‘water’ was black, stank to high heaven and the yolk was also black and curdled.
    I have been suspicious about their quality recently (I buy a dozen large eggs every week) as the shells seem thin and often break when boiling. But this is the last straw!
    In all our years as chicken farmers, producing fertile eggs for the hatchery, we never ever had a bad egg amongst the ones we kept for home consumption. Lots of double yolkers but never a bad gone-off egg.
    Of course I cannot take the remains to show the store and ask for a refund, but they are going to get a stiff letter!

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    Replies
    1. Archerphile, take a photo to show them. It sounds disgusting.
      My Sainsburys had a melt down, literally, on Tuesday, had to throw away £20,000 worth of chilled produce because their fridges/freezers couldn't maintain the low temperatures. They have back-up generators, and put a man on the roof to hose it down for coolness but it didn't work. Our food systems from growing to purchasing are very fragile in this country.

      Delete
    2. I shopped on Wednesday and my Sainsburys was the same, with the majority of freezers, chill cabinets empty. There wasn't a single ounce of cheese available (not that I eat it). It reminded me of the beginning of the first lockdown.

      Delete
    3. Archerphile I think this very serious , you understand eggs like I do.
      Although you dont have the egg, I believe this should be reported to the food standards agency. Harsh you might think, but if there is one bad egg there are likely to be more from the same source and this needs to be followed through.

      Delete
    4. Archerphile. Try e-mailing customer services, as this always works for me. I've done it a few times, and have always had good results and apologies. I mention silly things like tonic water caps with no perforations so they couldn't be unscrewed, as an example.
      Don't forget to give the batch number and that you will not be eating any of the eggs in the box as these will be discarded.
      Giod Luck.

      Delete
  49. For those of you who love hollyhocks but are worried about rust , the figleaf hollyhock /Alcea ficifolia is rust resistant it is pale yellow. I couldnt remember its name until today. I have grown it for years.
    Sidalcea is safe too, it is reminiscent of the holly hock but is much smaller growing to about 4 ft and unlike the hollyhock is a long lived perennial.
    Right now back to weeding

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    Replies
    1. That is useful to know. Thank you.

      Delete
    2. We have hollyhocks. No idea what kind, a local resident decided we needed some and sprinkled the seeds over our fence!
      No sign of rust that I'm aware of. But then I've had plants before that were perfectly happy until someone said 'They're difficult to grow', 'They only like rain water', 'They're prone to Black Death', etc, etc. The poor things obviously hear and take umbrage at my lack of bespoke TLC because they curl up and die a short time later. If myhollyhocks turn rust red tomorrow, Cowgirl, I shall know who to blame 😉

      Delete
  50. Archerphile the one thing about growing older is that you can write "Old biddy letters"
    Since some people think one is old at 60 or 70 (rubbish) you could try that tack although on this occasion you won't have to .I don't suppose you thought to take a photograph .
    In fairness I have found that if you 'phone them they are very good.

    On another topic......
    Does anybody know when a Will is comparably simple does it take after probate is granted for things to be "wrapped up?"
    Thanks

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My understanding (from experience with my father's death) is that
      once probate is granted, the lawyer, if one had been employed, then tells the main beneficiary, or the person who has employed or dealt with the lawyer, so it would either be that person, or the lawyer, if so instructed, to inform any other beneficiaries.

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    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    3. I think that may be one of life’s imponderables! My Mums estate was disbursed reasonably efficiently, likewise my Father-in-law’s ie 6-12 months, in both cases the houses were being sold. My Dad’s has been less straightforward but probate was granted December 2020, after some wrangling, we are still waiting for final settlement…… I think a lot depends on the solicitor, the current one is going to get some very bad reviews on whatever forums we can find once everything is sorted.

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  51. AP, I believe that if you simply report a bad buy the supermarkets will refund ( they say they do at Tesco) Then I imagine they would tell you to report to the customer service desk when you next go, & they'd arrange the refund.

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  52. Archerphile….I had the same experience with an egg this week. My God it stank. Never known owt like it. I get a tray of eggs at a time from the egg farm up the lane. This last tray had some whoppers. I felt sorry for the poor hen laying them, well unless they’ve got a rogue ostrich there in disguise. A lot of double yolkers too.
    Will delay getting any eggs for a couple of weeks cos it’s put me off a bit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My goodness, imagine the stink of a gone -off Ostrich egg!
      I have written to Sainsburys and also checked out the The Food Standards Agency as advised by Cowgirl. I was prompted to contact our local Council’s Environmental Health dept which I have done. I even retrieved the box from the dustbin to photograph all the labels on it, giving the producers details, use by days etc. and my receipt.
      So now I just wait for the compensation cheque to arrive! 😉

      Delete
    2. Well done Archerphile
      Times are hard for producers as well as us. I think it important that we, the consumers dont allow standards to slip.

      Delete
  53. Sorry Archerphile didnt mean to be patronising

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  54. It's more about the inconvenience though, the planned meal, the throwing-away of ingredients. the scouring of pan and utensils etc. Imagine the waste if you had broken the egg into a sponge mix.
    Or if it was a child's hot lunch....
    I always complain if things aren't right, haven't got money to throw away.

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  55. I haven’t looked in at all today until now.

    ARCHERPHILE - you should contact your local council trading standards office.

    They will be very interested and will investigate. They have to by law I believe.
    I once did this with fish that in realised was bad ‘off’.
    As said by others you need to keep the rest of the batch.
    Contacting your local food standards office does not mean that you should not also tell your local Sainsburys about it, and also tell them that you are reporting it to your local authority.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry to have repeated advice from others.
      Was so alarmed by reading that post, I scrolled straight to end to reply.

      Delete
  56. Well done for doing what you did.,Archerphile.
    Up until now I have thrown away the egg carton and just put the eggs straight into the fridge but from now on I will do what you did -just in case!


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  57. Just catching up after being AWOL for a few days, so apologies for reopening a closed subject.

    I am actually quite glad that 'women's problems' are getting more attention recently.
    Historically, the default medical model has been the male body, and where female physiology has differed, this has been an 'anomaly'. Now, finally, we're beginning to realise that about 50% of the population are built like this!
    (That's my brief summary, this article does it rather better: https://www.elsevier.com/connect/together-we-created-the-most-advanced-3d-female-anatomy-model)

    Some lucky people, like LanJan, sail through their monthly cycle with barely a backward glance. Others spend at least a couple of days a month unable to function and curled up in bed with excruciating stomach cramps. In between, others don't perform up to their ability in sports, exams, work, ... because it's their 'time of the month'. Others use loo roll or are forced to resort to shoplifting to get sanitary products because these are an unaffordable luxury for family budgets stretched beyond breaking point. (Welcome recent attention to this issue has resulted in more and more schools and other venues providing them for free.)
    Still other women struggle for years with undiagnosed endometriosis because their monthly suffering has been dismissed as 'normal'. And even when they do get a diagnosis, the available treatment is of limited help.

    And many, many women have grown up being told that all they are going through is just part and parcel of being female, so may not even realise that help is available. So yes, if this series can help raise awareness and help make the monthly cycle easier for women then I'm all for it. And yes, the men can listen too. There's enough 'blokey' stuff on the radio that's of no interest to me; surely 7 hours of period pain, chopped up into manageable 15 minute chunks, won't kill them. And most of them will have wives, daughters, sisters, mothers, workmates, ... , a little bit of understanding never goes amiss.

    Diatribe over. It must be my hormones, doctor.

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    Replies
    1. I wasn't going to comment on this topic but will now agree with what you have said OWIAS and put it so much better than I could have done.

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  58. And I am very pleased to see a further, and very good post on this subject.
    As I’ve said previously I had few problems but my mother was certainly in the camp of ‘ this is what is to be expected as a woman ‘ !
    Not an opinion passed on by me to my daughters.

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  59. I found it interesting to listen to “ The Expectation Effect” by David Robson and read by him each morning last week. Especially apt for those of us in the older category, how our mindset can influence how we feel and act. Of course there were fantastic examples of elderly people like an 80 year old lady doing energetic salsa dances! Not for me but it gave food for thought as I have found it too easy to lower my expectations of myself because of my age and will try to be more positive about what I could achieve and notably just to appreciate myself. I didn’t hear all of the week’s contents but it is available on sounds and I will listen to them all. The style of writing is very easy to understand and to relax into!😊

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  60. I'm desperately trying to get back to doing what I did before, but it's the prevalence of Covid which has lowered my expectations for me. Being unable to use public transport and with pavements like switchbacks because of all the dropped kerbs, I can't go anywhere under my own steam. I am therefore effectively housebound and it sometimes feels as if I'm 103!
    I spend as much time as possible in the garden, and as I've just worked six Sundays on the trot I'm worn out, but I miss the freedom to come and go as I please.

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    Replies
    1. Sarnia, have you thought of a mobility scooter? They give so much freedom and independence. Sorry if not possible for you but it was just a thought.

      Delete
    2. Pride, Ev, pride! Gets in the way.

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    3. Blow pride, Sarnia! Doesn’t matter what folks think if they did think anything of it. The main thing is you and your well-being! I now use a walking stick as it steadies me especially when walking the dogs on uneven terrain and it helps a lot with dropped kerbs! I don’t care if they think I’m going downhill as it gives me confidence in my walking. I met a lady the other day who was on a scooter. She can walk but not far especially on the hilly surrounds we have here. She had nipped up to little Tesco for a few bits. We had a nice chat, me leaning on my stick, she sitting on her scooter and the dogs wearily lying down waiting for me to finish chatting as usual! Give it a try if you can!😊

      Delete
    4. Thanks, Ev, but I would really rather not as I would soon become dependent on it, which would remove the incentive to get back to proper exercise. At present, once a week I get a taxi to a central area of the local shops, which are all on the flat. I can then either go straight to Sainsbury's or walk further to other shops first. In this way I am slowly and gradually extending my walking capacity. My house just happens to be in a very hilly (but most attractive) suburb with terrible pavements, so that walking the local streets is not yet an option. I'll get there eventually.

      Delete
    5. Sarnia I believe you have the right attitude and with determination you will get there. I have seen to many of my older friends give up too easily and quickly deteriorate .

      Delete
    6. Sorry hit the wrong button.
      I had my second knee replacement 7 months ago, when I saw the surgeon and physio, they were both satisfied, I was not and told the surgeon so, I couldnt ride my trike or bend my knee as far as the first. He told me to carry on with the exercises. I have done so despite the pain. I can now bend my knee as far as the other albeit pushing it and can ride my trike. The additional benefit is that I am much more stable on rough ground. I shall carry on untill I feel it is right.

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  61. My mother would have done something foolish while interfering and finished up in need of attention herself. Fortunately she was already booked on a flight to Canada to visit her brother.

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  62. I am definitely in the camp of Sarnia and Cowgirl in wanting to keep physically active beyond expectations.
    Like Sarnia I was surrounded by hills. Lovely to look at and the heights accessible by car, but getting around to do normal everyday activities not good.
    Having found this property in the right place, still surrounded by hills but on the flat (once I have descended the very sloping drive) elsewhere, and I am delighted to be able to walk the five minutes into the centre of town. Very busy at present in the middle of the summer season I am looking forward to discovering this town in winter.
    COVID has taken its toll on my legs and feet.
    I have strong legs and the feet of a fifty year old, but have spent all of the time since
    Christmas 2019 in my croc boots outside and my crocs slip ons inside. I am now having problems walking in shoes and am feeling unsteady.
    Not a situation I will allow to continue.
    To accommodate the move I have not been to Tai Chi since the beginning of this year and classes were sporadic during the covid period.
    I need to return to classes twice weekly as soon as possible.
    Well done Cowgirl for keeping at it since your knee replacement, I fear that many people do not work hard enough in exercising after surgery and so do not reap the possible rewards of replacement surgery. Apart from the difficulty of kneeling and staying down there once achieved, my knee is in excellent condition.
    Though it did swell up a little due to bringing in the heavy boxes left in the porch.

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    1. Yes heavy lifting and kneeling are not recommended once you have had knee replacement. My squatting abilities are improving ! Tai chi is well known as a good form of exercise for older people . I just practise standing on one leg which is so important for our balance.
      How have you coped with your skin condition with all this sun?

      Delete
  63. Totally applaud 👋👋 those here who don't give into ageing inconveniences, minor or major, but rather continue to live the life they want to live, even though it takes more effort.
    In a small way, though I get puffed out, I do make myself clamber staircases at stations - so what if I breathe heavily for a bit afterwards ? It's all necessary exercise, & isn't going to kill me ! Do draw the line at clambering all the way up escalators, but then I always did, being a fairly lazy younger woman, physically.

    That said, there is a balance to be struck, I think.Little point in anyone stretching themselves to such an extent that they end up in hospital with broken bones.

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  64. Sarnia, I really do see your point and agree we need to exercise within and maybe just a little beyond our present ability. I get the fuller picture now and I had thought rather than being confined to house and garden, a mobility scooter would get you out and about. People though do become too dependent on them and lose the ability to walk. This happened to my husband but in his defence he had a lot of pain. My walk to the creek takes about 15 minutes and I sit down there and about 20 minutes back as it is all uphill! My feet aren’t brilliant and I have a bit of arthritis but keeping moving is the key as I don’t take any medication. Take care, Sarnia. I admire your determination

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  65. Thank you, Ev. In response to Mrs P's comment about follow-up exercise, come to think of it, the physio after my 2nd knee late in 2018 never really took off.
    Most unusually, the woman in charge of my course was utterly dreadful, putting me on fancy gym equipment that was too strenuous immediately post-op and causing soft tissue damage to both knees.
    By the time this had healed to think of picking up the exercises recommended for the first op, David's condition had begun to worsen and my knee was no longer first priority. Proceeding thence to the total chaos of bereavement followed by lockdown and I am where I am.
    Cowgirl, I am impressed by your determination to be able to squat for gardening, which would certainly help me a great deal. I decided to follow your example and go back to the original exercises. Better late etc.

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  66. Take it gently Sarnia, one step at a time , but do it daily. I find if I miss a day or two I have to work harder to catch up.
    Each time I go upstairs I practise my squatting, holding on to the bannister rail and now as I sit at the computer I am working on bending my knee. I don't have the patience to do sessions as it were, it would bore me out of my mind, I just try to put them into my daily routine.
    Please keep us informed as to your progress, I'm sure it will help

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  67. I have had a lovely day with Big Sis, but note to self - Never let myself go shopping with her again!
    She had to take her "wheels" in for a service and MOT, the dealer she has to use being near Cheshire Oaks Outlet Park (about 6 miles from me). I picked her up at the garage and went there as I wanted to go to the Clarks shop, as I was desparate for some sandals. After a sucessful purchase, she spotted the Craighoppers shop, where she buys walking and golf gear. Off we trotted. There was a sign Closing Down 70% Off. She didn't buy a thing, but I came out with a fleecy type top, and a lovely lightweight zip-up, waterproof jacket. I was egged on to buy them!!
    Back home for a lunch and a chat about her 4week OZ holiday with her middle daughter, hubbie and two grandsons.
    She fell in love with Bonnie, who ignored me and sat on her lap the whole time. Bonnie is the spittting image of one of hers, except smaller. I nearly had to check her bag, when we left to go back to the garage, in case she was trying to smuggle Bonnie out.

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    1. Bonnie sounds lovely Miriam. She has found a good home.
      Sales are tempting. I wait for the Hotter shoe sales, and have just bought a nice comfortable pair of walking sandals.

      Delete
  68. Strange - I wrote a post about my latest egg manoeuvres yesterday morning but it has disappeared!
    Just to say, Environmental Health wrote to me saying they are shortly to conduct a comprehensive inspection of that Sainsburys branch and will definitely investigate the egg storage situation and the producer.

    I went to the store with remaining eggs, box and receipt to complain
    Asked to see Manager, who took ages to appear.
    When he eventually did appear he Immediately got on my wrong side by greeting me with “Hello my lovely, what’s the problem”
    Told him I was NOT ‘his lovely’ and to show some respect.
    Upshot : profuse apologies, cash refund in my hot sticky hand for price of eggs; invitation to choose new eggs and any other items of shopping I needed that morning, free of charge (I chose very expensive Happy Eggs but only a couple of bottles of hand wash, didn’t want to look greedy);
    and a nice surprise in the form of a £10 gift card.

    So, satisfied with shop response ( apart from the patronising greeting) and that Environmental Health will be taking up the case. Only problem, dont know which eggs to choose next week!

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    1. That's a very good outcome Archerfile.
      I know you said you had arthritis so thought I would just mention that someone we know here uses peanut oil to rub into his joints and reckons it helps. It might be because of the vitamin B3 it contains which is an anti inflammatory. Definitely a no go for anyone who has a peanut allergy though.

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    2. So glad you got such a good response, I suspect the problem lies with the producer rather than Sainsburys that is why it was so important to go to Environmental Health. I think for a week or two I would go to happy eggs untiat least they have had the time tocheck out the producer.

      Delete
    3. Yes, I suppose thats what I’ll have to do Cowgirl. But Happy Eggs are very expensive and only come in boxes of 10! Oh for the days when we produced our own eggs and could have a whole tray whenever we wanted!! 😄

      And thank you for the peanut oil suggestion Janice. I might give that a try. Sounds a bit messy but I suppose you have to rub it right in. My hands are worse now, specially my thumb joints. Tried Ibuleve gel, widely advertised, but it didn’t help at all.
      Wonder if I should eat lots of peanut butter too, I love it!

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  69. Hi Archerphile, glad to hear the positive result regarding the eggs, although I would have been tempted to deck thr manager for that greeting!
    I imagine that massaging oil into your bad hands could help, coconut oil would also have anti-inflammatory properties & smells nice. There are numerous supplements suggested for joint problems, probably nearly as many as people with joint pain, personally I found some help from turmeric, which could be placebo.
    I saw a specialist yesterday regarding long standing neck & shoulder pain so now waiting for MRI scan, I fear that more bony changes will be observed, hopefully the physios can suggest some exercises to manage my symptoms. I had hoped that giving up dentistry would have resolved these problems but apparently not 🙁

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  70. Archerphile

    Well done regarding the eggs at the store.
    Very very well done for pulling him up on that opening greeting.
    Where the hell has an appropriate greeting gone in todays society.
    And very pleased that environmental health are taking up the cudgels, I did expect that they would do so. And I agree with others that it is on the production side rather than the store regarding the state of the egg.

    Arthritis - for a long time I used Pernaton specifically for my hands. ( blue lipped muscle) I don’t use it now because my arthritis seems to have plateaued ( for the time being )
    Pernaton is expensive but I used to buy a large professional tub, which I got via mail. However I do remember seeing it once in a pharmacy in a small tube size.
    Worth trying ?
    Also - for many years I used slow release Iboprufen on prescription with Omeprazole to protect the stomach. One every twenty four hours, and on prescription.

    On that point, prescription, I had a telephone conversation with a GP yesterday.
    As a new patient it was to be face to face of course, but I had a call on Sunday informing me that she had COVID, and would I agree to a telephone call instead.
    I didn’t mind at all, as principally from my point of view it was to get on board with my prescriptions at the moment.
    However she told me that at least two of my items I would have to get over the counter, presumably as this health authority have cut back on them.
    One, Sylk vaginal lubricant I will accept, but I shall query my need for bath additive Liquid petroleum. With an entirely hairless body as well as the Vitiligo i do have a very dry skin, and the LP helps enormously.

    A day or so ago someone asked about my skin in this weather.
    Thank you.
    I cope by keeping out of it, only emerging into shade or the evening.
    Nevertheless the suns rays catch me all the same and as usual in the summer, my forearms in particular become piebald. The vitiligo on my head does get burnt pretty quickly, and does show through the mild fuzz of ‘stuff’ ( I baulk at describing this fuzz as HAIR ) on my head.
    It is what it is, and I have no option other than to endure !
    Besides, despite my physical appearance I appear to have a strong enough constitution to have passed eighty. Plus an extremely well developed self confidence in embracing the au natural state of being.
    A good innings from low expectations.

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  71. I think you can get sun hats with UV protection, Mrs P.

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  72. KP Nuts has mentioned what I was about to ,Archerphile-coconut oil.
    I used to use it and for some reason haven't done so for a while and then then when a taxi diver was taking me to Urgent Case Centre at my local hospital last week when according to 111 I had a suspected broken foot !!! he told me to use coconut on my foot.
    (I knew the foot wasn't broken as I couldn't have walked had it been.
    Also it wasn't painful but I went to the hospital as I was told to domand was seen very quickly .
    That was someone being over zealous which is better than the other way of approaching someone.

    Bit annoyed today.
    Went to Iceland.
    On a Tuesday they give 10% discount to pensioners.
    I didn't check until I got home.
    I would like to think that it was because I didn't look 65 !
    Anyway I phoned and they will rectify it when I next go into the store.

    Archerphile,where I used to live,shop assistants call people "love"
    Some Liverpudlians will call a female "queen"
    "My Lovely "is a bit too Pam Ayers for me but it is better than "dearie"or even "dear".
    Now here's a question to everybody.
    Do you prefer to be called Mrs ,Miss ,Ms or Mr rather than by your Christian name?
    I much prefer the latter especially when I am asked first how. I would like to be addressed.

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  73. Interesting question, Lanjan. I don't object to any appellations, except Mr &, maybe, Ms ( a bit 'treading on eggshells' & PC)

    Brilliant handling by you, AP, re the rotten egg saga ! Don't care for 'lovely' either - sounds patronizing to someone you don't know, & entirely inappropriate in the situation. of store manager to a customer with a serious complaint. On a lighter side, you've received lots of advice here about arthritic pain, & I would add, as you love peanut butter, just get loads of it - it'll cheer you up, even if it does nothing for the actual pain!

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    Replies
    1. I object to MS, interestingly my niece who is very much a feminist does too. I have no objection to the use of my christian name , in fact I get a bit cross at the dentists as they will call me miss, it marks me out as being older which I dont like , I have asked them to use my christian name, I think I need to tell them why next time a they are trying to be respectful

      Delete
    2. Carolyn’s comment has triggered a memory- may I share it please

      I carried a memory for many many years of my father bringing me a jar of peanut butter, and I can remember the garden I was sitting in eating the peanut butter with a teaspoon straight from the jar.
      I always thought that my father had brought this jar of P B from Africa as I understood that he was in Africa when I was very little.
      This garden was in Catford where we lived in rooms on the upper floor, but had access to the back garden.
      Not long before my father died I brought this memory to mind in a conversation with him, and he put me right about the circumstances.
      He was, he said, stationed somewhere in the South of the UK and had a 24 or 48 hour leave. In trying to reach London he was at Brighton Station with some time between trains. Going for a walkabout he came across a shop, open but with little else to sell other than a consignment of peanut butter.
      He bought a jar and gave it to me when he arrived home to my mother and me. This would have been between 1943 - 5, and I would have been three or four.
      I am still inclined to eat PB out of the jar, and that goes for almond butter and cashew butter as well.

      Delete
  74. I will choose the appellation of Mrs if one is required, but always introduce myself with my Christian, or given name with my surname.
    However, if I get a marketing call being immediately familiar by addressing me by my first name my hackles rise, and whoever they are are put in their place.

    My mother was very hot on this subject and always expected, and got, the respect of being called Mrs S………. K. Only very special people were allowed to call her Edith.
    When she went into the nursing home, I warned them that they must use the Mrs title until she invited them to call her Edith. Called Edie or Eed when young ( but Flossie by her father ) my mother rose well above her working class origins and once past the age of ten I never heard her called any thing other than Mrs S…… or Edith.

    Shortened or nick names as a subject ?

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  75. I hate Ms with a passion as it is meaningless. Mrs is shot for Mistress of and I’m sure Miss has a meaning too?! Mike used to say that technically my correct form of address was Mrs Michael …followed by surname but I refused that as I had given up my surname but never would my .Christian name! My new surname was easier to spell anyway! I do prefer to be called by my Christian name but not in an overfamiliar way by the likes of cold callers! I never had a nickname but my Dad, an exiled Scot, was generally known as Jock! Funnily, my Mum always called her neighbours Mr or Mrs even when she had known them for years!

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    Replies
    1. Yes Mike was correct. If you get divorced the first wife retains the right to use his first name. the second wife has to use her christian name. What useless information !

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  76. Certainly a different day today than last Tuesday!! I’ve even had to put the washing in the tumble dryer. On the plus side I now have 4.5 water butts filled.
    Been watching A is for Acid off itv catch up. Martin Clunes as a serial killer in the 1940’s. Very good. Had to stop watching now cos boyo is watching the womens football semi final.

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  77. Regarding titles and names, when I was working I would initially address some one by title & surname, if it specified Miss or Mrs I would use that, if a woman hadn’t specified I would use Ms. i would introduce my self with my first name & ask how they prefer to be addressed. Most people use their first name but sometimes prefer a middle name or an abbreviated version of their name. One patient told me his friends called him Nobby, which I felt awkward with in the waiting room.

    Football on in this house too.

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  78. It is difficult when you get a letter from say your bank signed something like Susan Bloggs with no title before it. If you have to write back you don’t know whether to put Dear Susan, Dear Ms Bloggs or Mrs or Miss. Very confusing! If it’s a man Mr fits all! I find it simplest to write Dear Susan Bloggs but that isn’t strictly polite!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ev, you may not feel that it’s not polite, but when I learned secretarial practice it was correct to use the name of the sender. If no appellation and a first name given along with surname then the correct reply would be, in your case ‘ Dear Susan Bloggs ‘
      However I am happy to be corrected if the rules have changed seeing that my secretarial training was way back in the fifties.

      Delete
  79. If I am speaking to someone I don’t know on the telephone, like a someone from the bank or a business and they ask me how I wish to be addressed, I usually say Mrs H…… It seems more professional than using my given name. It feels presumptive if they start off using my given name without asking.
    However, on going into hospital and being asked how I wish to be addressed, I would say my given name because I shall be interacting with the staff for some days and want the stay to be friendly.
    Re the Sainsburys manager, or any shop assistant for that matter, I do not like being called dear or love, let alone my lovely or dearie. It makes me feel ancient and very patronised. I am professional with the assistant and I expect them to be professional with me

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    Replies
    1. I do as you do ARCHERPHILE and for the same reasons.
      Different horses for different courses.

      Delete
  80. Lady and I did a different walk this evening, exploring beyond the harbour and onto the woodland walk which I believe reaches the moor eventually.
    We didn’t go as far as the moor but turned and came back along a path beside the sea. Lady, ahead of me hunting out the rabbits ( she’s always hopeful) stopped at a shelter, and when I drew near I could see a gentleman of the road settled for the night. He was listening to his radio which he politely turned off as I greeted him.
    I asked if he was homeless and gathered that he had been living in his car but that it had been seized. He was clean and it was evident that his towels were drying on a makeshift line. I asked if he had eaten and he assured me that he kept himself healthy.
    I envy his outdoor living, though perhaps not his present, and i hope temporary, conditions.
    I also gathered a good basin of blackberries that I discovered two days ago in an abandoned garden adjacent to one of the many ‘ backs ‘ of this seaside town, and they are in the freezer within an hour of harvesting.
    I have an apple tree in the garden and there is another in both adjacent gardens.
    Yep ! A summer of apple and blackberry crumble is on the cards.

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  81. Where are you Miriam ?
    Hope all is OK.

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  82. Mrs P, it is good to see you so lovely. Hopefully for you this move will prove to have been the new lease of life you mentioned in an earlier post.

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  83. That was meant to be 'lively', but my phone assures me that you are lovely as well.

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  84. Warning
    I have just received a spam e mail saying my car isnt taxed suggesting I use my credit card to ensure I was safe to drive. I am usually very careful about these things and nearly fell for it. Just shows how careful we must be

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  85. Replies
    1. Hi Cowgirl, I got what I suspect is the same one, with your warning ringing in my ears I checked I still had the confirmation email from renewing my tax a couple of weeks ago.
      I then ‘hovered’ over the sender to reveal the sender address (the magic of iPads) sent a mildly rude retort & then blocked the sender. Thanks for the heads up.

      Delete
  86. Miriam ( and I am sure she OK and posting elsewhere) will be pleased to hear I have just cancelled our annual subscription to the Radio Times.
    We have had this subscription for as long as I can remember, very convenient, delivered by post each week, and have always had a copy in the house since I was a child.
    But no more. Subscription just gone up to £91 for 6 months!
    And what has been in it for the past few weeks? Sport, sport and more sport! The edition for next week contains nothing but features on the commonwealth games and film reviews, neither of which we are interested in. There are now also pages of information about streaming channels which we don’t have. The Radio programme content has been minimal compared with TV. content for years - so much for being called the ‘Radio’ times!
    So, like Miriam I shall be seeking a much cheaper listings magazine or simply keep the one provided with the Sunday Times.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well remembered. I don't miss the radio times at all. Last Christmas I bought the double issue thinking it would contain more information than the one I have now. I hardly used it, as there was no benefit in doing so. At least it proved that my decision was right.
      You'll need to do what I did, stand for ages going through all the TV guides in Sainsbury's. I bought the one I thought would suit me, which it did so did a subscription. This is very much less than the cost of the RT and has all the radio programmes in plus a small extra, This week in The Archers, in case want to read ahead.

      Delete
    2. I buy Total TV Guide, the on-line offer at the moment being £95 for 51 issues, one of which is the 2 week Christmas one, so is actually 52 weeks.
      This suits me but might not be what you are after.

      Delete
    3. We mainly got the Radio Times for the crossword. Then I found the Standard one online, and now I do the Guardian cryptic, also online.

      If you're a member of your local library, it's worth a look to see what digital magazines they offer. You can get them delivered to your inbox for free. We were getting Radio Times for a while this way but my notifications seem to have stopped - probably gave up because I never got around to opening the links!

      Delete
  87. Well it happened again. When I posted last night there were no comments on from through the day. So I look like a total spanner stating some random post that didn’t join in with the rest. Then this morning they are all there. Most bizarre.
    I’m a Mrs person but I do tend to use first name with people if I’m wanting a quote or a deal on something! Think it works to be more pally then.

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  88. I am just in from a hard days gardening. It was perfect, warm yet cloudy and the soil was really lovely to dig over, as so moist after all the rain we've had.
    My garden is weed free once again, but it won't last long.
    Some new plants put in and others moved around. It doesn't look that much different though.
    The runner beans finally have flowers appearing, at long last.

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  89. Our garden is looking rather brown & droopy at the moment, a couple of rose bushes are still in bloom but otherwise the only colour is from shrubs with coloured foliage. We do need to work out what plants will give us colour for this time of year and won’t get munched by rabbits.

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    Replies
    1. Our hardy fuchsia bushes are in bloom at the moment and don’t get nibbled by rabbits KP. The other plant that gives masses of lovely blue flowers for months on end is Geranium ‘Rozanne’. They are low growing for the front of the border and are just covered in violet/blue blooms. Quite expensive to buy a couple of little Plants to start with but they spread and we have taken lots of cuttings and spread them throughout the garden.
      And the pesky rabbits don’t touch them.

      Delete
    2. I'd like to add my support for Geranium 'Rosanne'. Mine provide colour all summer and there are lots of bees on them.

      Delete
  90. I’ve just been booked in for an MRI on my neck & shoulder which prompted me to wonder whether Hilary has had hers yet & how she coped. Hopefully all is well.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, KPnuts! I am rather ashamed to admit that I chickened out of the scan in the end and cancelled the appointment. The oculist advised a scan but did not actually say it was necessary. I had been taking note of the tips some of you had kindly suggested but eventually realised they weren’t going to do the trick.
      I tested positive for covid on Monday, despite three vaccinations. Italy had just started giving a fourth dose to the over 60s so I was just too late! Luckily my symptoms are mild.
      Having had over two months of hot weather, recently 38C, a short thunderstorm with some rain was most welcome yesterday and has cleared the air a little. Still 34C today though! The oleander doesn’t seem to mind the heat however!

      Delete
  91. I was with a child on Sunday who tested positive for Covid the following day
    I was surprised when I saw that unless I felt ill I didn't have to take a test.
    In fact it said 'don't'
    However today since I was meeting a vulnerable person!!! Ie a friend in her eighties ,I did the test and it was negative fortunately.

    I really do not like the weather we are having.
    No rain here for ages.
    The garden has never looked so bad .
    I can put up with a beige lawn but there are so many dead bushes.
    The plums are the size of cherries and the apples like crab apples.
    Too hot to garden too.
    However my tomatoes have never been so good..
    You win some and you lose some .

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  92. P tbY mentioned Women's Football.
    I don't know why I don't like it and I realise that I may be in the minority but I am not interested in it at all.
    Lots of women with pony tails running around.
    Don't like Women's cricket.
    Can't abide women commentators.
    If the women commentate on their team sports and let men commentate on their's that would suit me very well

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perhaps if you had played cricket at school as I did you may have had a different view point.After hockey it was my favourite game

      Delete
    2. Sport doesn't really interest me but I'm pleased that people who enjoy watching women's sport are getting the same opportunity to watch it as those who enjoy men's sport.

      Delete
    3. LanJan - I totally agree with you regarding women’s football and especially women’s rugby.
      Bought up in an era when girls played lacrosse and hockey, boys played rugby and football I just can’t get my head around women playing mens sports!
      I don’t mind women playing cricket and my daughter played for our local club and university team. But I simply cannot stand women commentating on mens cricket, especially Test Matches!
      My daughter would be horrified to hear me saying this, I must be a dyed in the wool anti-féminisant I think!

      Delete
    4. I don't understand why it matters.

      Delete
  93. Vanilla
    Anna was lonely ; although she had her calf she kept escaping, one day she ended up in my neighbours hay field, something his cows didn't do. I caught and roped her , but each time I got to the gate I had to drop the rope to open it , she of course ran off with calf in tow, after a number of attempts the calf was tired , she realised this and strolled through the gate home.

    I decided to buy her a friend, fortunately Temple Newsam had 2 in calf heifers for sale. One was of excellent dairy type the other a little beefy, I decided on the beefy one as she had an excellent temperament. She was duly delivered and immediately settled in and became Boss
    In due course they both calved and Scarlett joined the herd . Vanilla proved to be as easy to milk as Anna was difficult.
    Anna became difficult to milk, having settled down , kicking whenever I touched her udder . I decided to call the vet, he examined her couldn't fathom the problem asked me to show him how I milked and decided it was my technique. I knew that wasn't the problem, but who was I to argue.
    Shortly after I dried her off in anticipation of the arrival of her next calf and the problem went away although of course I was still handling her udder every day. Only time would tell if the problem was resolved.

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  94. I'm just home from a lovely day out with kids, who were well behaved for once! I took a cake I baked yesterday, a chocolate + vanilla marble one, which went down a treat by all. It was tasty, saying so myself....
    We were outside playing frisbee when 11yr old grand niece came out and joined in, and I realised she was wearing my new sandals! They fitted her perfectly but she was made to take them off. As I left I couldn't find them, as sge had hid them well. She hoped I would forget them, as if.
    They are off to London tomorrow, before flying out to Disneyland Florida on Sunday for two weeks, so it was big hugs all round.

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  95. I will doing the same as Archerphie, complaining to Sainsburys. Whilst eating my meal, cod and parsley sauce fishcakes, I bit on something hard. I had two fishbones both about 3/4" in length in my mouth. Luckily I could remove them without any problems.
    I plan to photograph these against a tape measure to show the length.

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    Replies
    1. I'm surprised Miriam that you don't make your own, so much tastier and they freeze well..

      Delete
  96. A regular fish cake is relatively straight forward but I think incorporating the sauce in the middle would be more difficult. I have to admit that I generally buy fish cakes as an easy supper option to stow in the freezer.

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    Replies
    1. Fiddly perhaps but not difficult, roll into a ball make a hole in the centre, add your your filling cover and carry on as usual, but gently.

      Delete
    2. Or use a marinade injector, normally used for meat, but the wider injector needle can be used for other things, eg jam into donuts.

      Delete
  97. I like to make fish pie but find the packs of mixed fish a bit too much for two of us so I make fish cakes with the excess. The fish is cooked all together and mashed potatoes are made for pie topping so it is easy to combine the two with dried parsley then egg and breadcrumb them and freeze ready to use. I do buy fish cakes though and Tesco do some nice gluten free ones. So far no bones! You may find though that a disclaimer says lack of bones aren’t guaranteed.

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  98. When we go to the fishmonger to stock up we cut the fish up into suitable sized pieces for the freezer and use the trimmings to make fish cakes which can then be frozen if not used immediately.

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  99. Ummmm !

    All your comments and posts about fish pie, are giving me a problem.
    It was my husband’s favourite food, but I could never bring myself to make it.
    Having to eat Fish Pie would be a very great torture for me !

    But I do eat fish cakes, and have always loved hard roe, ( never soft roe) unlike many who find it unpalatable.

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  100. Re football, At the age of about 7 I briefly managed to escape my mother's beady eye long enough to join a group of little boys in a game of football. I was having a wonderful time playing in goal and was actually rather good at, until my mother tracked me down and marched me off home. I got into terrible trouble; she was disgusted by it and began to worry that there was something wrong with me because girls shouldn't want to play football.

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  101. PS my mother was very easily disgusted. The list was endless: the new trend for front-fastening women's trousers (despite the fact that the zips didn't break so often), going sailing and coming home happy but dripping wet, plus an endless catalogue of perfectly normal phenomena lumped together as 'common'.
    Post-war child in a pre-war family!

    ReplyDelete
  102. Oh yes Sarnia ‘ common’ !
    I’ve come to realise that it’s mostly those still on the way up, who label what they’re forbears what have thought as normal, as common.
    My mother was certainly in that category.

    On the other hand, I have no expectations of rising any further socially than my present position, but I do still have quite defined attitudes about ‘common’ behaviour.
    Eating in the street being the principle one. ( except chips in the bag after youth club) or perhaps sitting on a park bench to eat lunchtime sandwiches.
    Others ? Tattoos and piercings to start with.

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  103. Oh, there was never any question of my mother, or any of us for that matter, being 'on the way up', Mrs P. She just needed to believe in her own superiority which, given her extremely dysfunctional background, would have been very real to her.

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  104. What is all this use of the word “pop”?
    Gardners say adding red helianthemums to a flower bed give it a “pop”
    A Yellow wall is supposed to give a “pop” to a decorating scheme
    And just now, a chef said, adding cods roe adds a “pop “ to jacket potatoes

    I think “pop” is becoming an overused and somewhat lazy word. I wonder what Susie Dent would think?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Can't say that I've noticed Archerfile.

      Delete
    2. My American art tutor used to give me hints like darkening shadows to make things pop! It is very descriptive!

      Delete
  105. Has anyone else noticed how few butterflies there are around this year? I've had a lot of bees on my nepetas and lavenders and was hoping that the buddleia would bring out some butterflies but I've hardly seen any.

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    Replies
    1. As heard from Carol Klein frequently (on her own gardening show this week especially during the Chelsea Flower Show), on last weeks Gareners World and this morning on Desert Island Discs!

      Delete
    2. Sorry, CC, the above comment was in reply to your previous post!
      And yes, we were only sitting outside yesterday in our garden full of buddleias and saying how few butterflies there were in comparison with a few years ago. A couple of Brimstones, a single large white and a single comma.
      Mr A does a butterfly count for the Amateur Entomologists Society of which he is a member and the returns are devastatingly low this year.
      The only compensation seems to be an increase in moths like the Elephant Hawkeye.

      Delete
    3. Sorry that should have been Hummingbird Hawk moth, of which we have seen several so far.

      Delete
    4. That reminds me. When we visited my daughter near Bath recently they put the moth trap out and there was no shortage in the trap as well as under the eaves and on the window around the trap. So not all bad news then.

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  106. First on the scene is usually a solitary brimstone, and I have the usual speckled woods and gatekeepers, although these seemed a bit late this year. The red admirals are on the buddleia. It's bees I've been short of this year, despite a garden full of nectar rich flowers. My campanula was silent to the point of being unnerving.
    As for those 'pops' of colour, as I have large areas of green, I'm all ears.

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  107. Hi folks new blog opened as getting close to 200

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